I woke up

I woke up this morning after my 3rd night of not so good sleep, Tae has her first cold and has been awake most of the night cuz she cant breath through her little nose holes. I am so thankful for her perfect little nose but I do have to say when Jaxon was a baby the cold situation was easier having one big hole for a nose and mouth. It all just came out....... nothing could get clogged. Sorry, gross I know. Anyway, I dragged myself out of bed to get to my pilates class feeling sorry for myself, Tae was finally sleeping in between Blake and I and it was snowing outside, I just wanted to sleep and I knew I had a long day ahead of me. I have to take Tae to the doctor, Boston to the vet, do laundry, clean up the house, take Jax to swim lessons, drive to whole foods to get more meat that isn't loaded with antibiotics/hormones (that is a whole other subject I am obsessing about that I will have to tell you later) and worrying about if my swimsuit I ordered online will come before we leave on our trip to Mexico AGAIN. I need to figure out another time to force myself to do my weights/cardio workout I was supposed to do yesterday that I didn't do cuz I did hair all day and I need to look good for Mexico right???? Also I need to finish painting my kitchen stools, I did one to see if I like it and I do sooooo I need to paint the other two, I need to get Jaxon new bedding and put one of the queen beds in his room, he has grown out of his little toddler bed. I have been looking online and can't decide what I want to do in his room that wont cost a million dollars. I still need to get a rug for Tae's room, curtains, reschedule her pictures I cancelled yesterday cuz she was sick and she needs some new jammies that she isn't busting out of. I need some new bath rugs for our bathroom and I am sad that the new bedroom set I was supposed to get today from a house I staged I don't get yet because the sale fell through and it is back on the market. I was really excited for this.

Plus, I would love to get some sunglasses for Mexico, some sandals and maybe a sundress or two......... the cleaners called me yesterday and said that they ruined one of my favorite dresses I have only worn once....... so sad.

Then I WOKE UP! I got home from pilates and got on my computer procrastinating my day and my sweet friend Amy had posted the story of this family on her blog. So I read it. Sobbing. Feeling so ungrateful and stupid for all of my dumb NEEDS and WANTS and what I have been stressing about. STUPID. Absolutely none of it matters at all.

In no way do I think I have experienced anything even close to what this family is right now, I cant even imagine. But I have had times when my little perfect world has been ripped out from under me and I have had to be strong and pray for my baby. At these times it is when you realize that nothing else matters. Literally NOTHING. Your world stops and all you can do is pray and hope. You feel so stupid for the little things that stress you out and that you let yourself get caught up in.

You are strong because you have to be. There is no other option. You have to be there for your baby when you would much rather take his place.

How fast do I forget what REALLY matters and how lucky I am each day to live the perfect life I live?? I am so ashamed and embarrassed to think of what I have let myself focus on lately.

It is the easy thing to do in this world when your life is going so good to loose perspective.

I don't like to think that at any moment my life could be turned upside down in one second. But the truth is it can.

I am so glad that Amy opened my eyes to this today but I am soooo not glad that this sweet, amazing mother has to go through this right now. I will pray for her little Bronson constantly and I hope you can do the same. Her life is turned upside down right now and she is helping so many with her story. I am not going to lie, I have left my kids for a second to grab a towel, the phone or something else stupid. Just for a second right??? That's all it takes. It is so easy to get busy with your day to day life and not realize this can happen to you. I will NEVER again even turn around while my kids are in the water.

I don't know why this had to happen to this family but I will keep praying for them. The prayers are working!

And as for me my attitude has COMPLETELY changed. I will do nothing but play with my babies today. Nothing else matters. I am the luckiest girl in the world...........

PS- My new swimsuit just came while I was writing this. I don't even want it anymore.